January28 , 2023

    Feminism and its boundaries or lack thereof.


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    Sensitive, I know, but it is also a meaningful conversation, and honestly, is long overdue. We often frown upon boundaries for fear of being locked in and forget that they also lock bad guys out.

    That is exactly what happened with feminism. The dictionary definition of a  feminist is a person that advocates for the rights of women. By that definition, no one has a valid reason to not be a part of this movement.

    Make sure you check out: Is being opressed the new cool?

    However, it has been blown out of proportion so much that it has turned into gender wars. Sometimes it looks like for every step we take towards fighting for each other, there are three steps back fighting against each other.

    I love that women today have the option to work and pursue careers and make their own money. This however doesn’t have to be everyone’s story. We CAN coexist peacefully with different views. Living your best life as a housewife doesn’t mean that it is the only route for women.

    Also be sure to read: 5 Kenyan celebrities that have been in abusive relationships

    We have been sold this idea that we don’t need men so much that we actually have started to believe it. Just by our anatomy, we[men and women] are meant to be a jigsaw puzzle of sorts; merge together to achieve perfection. *winkwink*

    However, we shame men all the time for being faulty but refuse to be held accountable for our own faults. We want to only date men that are wealthy but we aren’t ready to do what it takes to earn them. We want to ask men how tall they are but never have them ask how much we weigh. Double standards much?

    We are seemingly hell-bent on being right more than we desire to understand each other. There is absolutely no shame in not knowing or being wrong. Gen Z is also dearly suffering from this, but we will talk about them some other time.

    Women, or at least some of us, refuse to see the beauty of our femininity but are willing to see the same as a weapon. I had a conversation with my cab driver and he confessed to being more comfortable with male clients as compared to female clients, especially at night.

    We are our own damnation. We get hurt by our own choices of men and when they inevitably hurt us, we don’t choose to heal. Instead, we choose to be bitter and spiteful to the entire gender.

    Take a look at; Love and business: Harmonize appoints Kajala as his manager

    I do not write this to say that we do not have struggles, nor do I write this to disregard anyone’s pain. I write this from a place of concern. I dread having a son in these times when all that is required of a woman is an allegation and my son’s life would be ruined.

    Before we are a gender, we are people. Good or bad, we are all people. Men and women have the ability to be evil. I know we have all been betrayed or let down by both.

    Read: Bridget Achieng’ and her ‘big heart’ allegedly sex trafficking

    Let there be clear boundaries for where feminism ends and insanity begins. I will keep saying that there is no one way to live. We are all faulty and in need of grace. Therefore, give grace because you sure as hell need it too.